Liberated

In different cultures cutting one's hair short can have different meanings: a display of grief, the representation of a new chapter in one's life, liberation from a bad situation or relationship...

Today I had my hair cut, not so much in an act of liberation but to make personal hygiene quicker and easier. These days I don't always get a daily shower, much less take time to do anything special with my hair, which had gotten long.

While I was out Sylvia had her first feeding from a bottle! Dad handled it well, and Sylvia did not seem to mind the alternative feeding method. She did want to eat again when I got home, though; hard to say if she was just extra hungry or missing my touch. Even though I was only gone a couple of hours, and it did feel good to go out alone, I did find myself missing my little bundle; it was nice to nestle into the rocking chair and reconnect.

Out and About

When Dan and I were a childless couple, it took us ten minutes to leave the house. Ah, the good old days!

Now: Do we have the diaper bag? Are there clean diapers? Wipes? Change of clothes in case of spillage? Spare shirt for me in case of urpage? Is Sylvia dressed warmly enough? Is she fastened into the car seat? Do we have a burp rag nearby? Where are my keys???

Outings are a big deal, especially after my being sick for two weeks. Two weeks! Yuck is the word. We went to the Co-op yesterday to buy groceries and socialize a little. What would normally be a mundane errand became the highlight of my day. Having a newborn changes one's perspective!

Multitasking

Here's Daddy, caring for Sylvia while also enjoying breakfast and working on a crossword puzzle. (What's a six-letter word for adorable baby, beginning with S??)

Having a little one encourages and sometimes necessitates multitasking, something I'm going to have to get much better at when Dan returns to work in two weeks. EEK!

No Comments

Strange thing, blogs. I never would have imagined myself a blogger, and still don't really consider myself one.

I created this blog mostly for my parents' benefit, and then realized my friends might be interested in seeing pics of Sylvia, if not also reading my thoughts on random baby-related topics. The blog also serves as a journal, a place for me to air mental laundry.

I've become sensitive to the quantity and content of the comments posted (or not posted) in response to my posts in a way I never expected. If a post gets no comments it bugs me a little. When one gets a comment I'm excited to continue the virtual conversation.

I'll extend an invitation to those of you without blogger or gmail ID's to e-mail me directly if you'd like to comment off-blog. The feedback would be nice!

Up and Down

I'm amazed at how mercurial Sylvia is. She can go from peaceful to upset, or from screaming bloody murder to sleeping in a matter of seconds.

I'm feeling the fluctuations lately too, with the Creeping Crud giving me a workout. One minute feeling like, "Okay, this is passing, I'm on the mend" and the next "Here comes the fatigue again, I'd better get in bed before I pass out."

Finally yesterday was a decent day with no symptoms, just the normal new parent fatigue. Today I might even venture out for lunch...gasp!

Daddy's Hair Salon

It's normal for little ones to get some dry skin and flaking, especially on the scalp during winter.

The other day Sylvia went to her father's salon for princess pampering! Apricot oil treatment, shampoo, towel dry and combing. The resulting hairstyle was retro 80's poof, though we used no mousse. I think Sylvia likes her new look.

Another Subject

This is bliss, sitting with this content, perhaps sleeping, little cherub, listening to her breathe and watching her be peaceful.

Less Yucky

Ready for a new subject, anyone??

Day nine, feeling a bit better, still pretty tired. Stayed in my pj's all day. Finally took a shower at 10:30pm. Maybe tomorrow I'll feel like leaving the house.

Meanwhile Sylvia eats, sleeps, functions, fusses a little, plays and coos. Dan cooks, cleans, runs errands, changes diapers, soothes Miss Fussy, feeds the dog...

More Yuck

Here it is Day Eight Of The Yuck. Sylvia's tired of having a sick mama. Do not catch this virus.

I am fortunate to have Linda Diane Feldt, holistic health practitioner and all-around goddess, as not only a healer but a friend too. I had a session with her yesterday and she convinced my liver to relax, my GI tract to feel comfortable, and my energy level to level out while dealing with processing the remaining toxins from the virus. Today I feel much better. Not 100%, but better by bounds.

Looking forward to tomorrow!

Helping Hands

I'm still sick with the crud, though feeling well enough to go to Grandma & Grandpa's for dinner last night (but I crashed halfway through, forcing us to leave promptly) and to do the dishes this morning. Grandma's busy right now cooking us some food for the next couple of days.

Today it is warmer (41 - practically balmy) and it's been raining, melting the snow cover. It'll turn cold again tomorrow and stay that way all week, and I feel like I'm missing a great opportunity to go walking outdoors today, but I don't have the energy.

It all makes me think about Dan's upcoming return to work in three weeks. I know I'll feel better by then (I had better!) but I'm a little nervous about solo parenting for long stretches of the day. Grandparents and uncle have offered to help, and we plan to have a conversation soon about what that will look like - afternoon babysitting for naptime? Evening babysitting for cooking dinner time? Morning babysitting for mama needs to go swimming time? Thank goodness we have the help we have - it's making things much easier, and making them possible at all when we're sick.

Letting Go

Sometimes Sylvia fusses when she's really tired, like she's not sure what to do and has a little struggle letting go and going to sleep.

Being sick this week has encouraged me to let go of a lot of the worry and obsessing over what we're "doing to our child" as we parent.

Having Dan and Grandma step in as primary caregivers allowed me not only to rest, but to step back and slow down, to see childrearing as a much longer-term project than the particular activity of the moment. Although it was hard to be trapped downstairs, sick on the couch, listening to Sylvia fuss upstairs (in the hands of a qualified adult), it did give me some perspective.

It's okay to lay her down in her crib (alone! egads!) if she's crying and I have to use the bathroom. It's okay to let her sit in a wet diaper (heaven forfend!) for a couple of minutes while I finish cooking breakfast. It's okay that I haven't figured out what this particular cry means right now and we sit together for a while to see if it blows over. Sylvia's happy, healthy and thriving. We're doing the right things. We're doing fine.

Yuck

So I managed to get the creeping crud, and I'm now on day three of stomach woes and fatigue. What a drag. It's hard to do more than feed Sylvia, and so much more needs doing. Thank goodness Dan is here, well and willing!

More Handmade Love

A lovely embroidered pillow with Sylvia's name and birth date on the back, and "Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep" on the front from great-aunt Betty.

Matching blankie, booties and tasseled hat from cousin Lycee and her gang.

Soft, lovely and thoughtful!

Fussy Faces

Proof that this child is not always smiling!

More Handmade Gifts

Sylvia has a great wardrobe, thanks in part to dear friends Zoe (maker of three fabulous bibs), her mother (called Yia Yia by granddaughter Tashi and maker of the cute custom hat, which I hope we might get in larger and larger sizes as the years go by...hint, hint), and Jean (maker of the fuzzy pink hat that tickles Sylvia's fancy judging by the photo.

Thanks!! We are blessed with creative and generous friends.

Navigating

Why is the baby doing/not doing "x"?


The conventional baby book says "a"

The alternative baby book says "b"

The attachment parenting book says it's because we are/are not doing "c" too much/enough

The grandparent says "d"

The friend with kids says some permutation of "a" and "d"

My intuition says "q"

We decide to do "a" or "b" or "c" (or not do "c" anymore) or "d" or "a+d" or "q"

The baby is fine

On the Way to the Forum

A funny thing happened...ha ha.

I posted on the La Leche League Forum asking about help with getting to sleep when the baby sleeps, which has been a great theory but not so great a practice.

Several moms replied that they are simply sleep deprived, even after months and months with their little ones. Jeez! Maybe I'm not so bad off.

Zoe e-mailed some great suggestions, as did Linda Diane - both doulas and incredible women. Great to have friends in wise places.

The forum is interesting; definitely a little bit of momma fanaticism, but also lots of support too.

Interesting how we've created virtual community, there and here. I especially think about the dichotomy of sitting inside at the computer having these heart-to-hearts with strangers while avoiding the Michigan winter cold and illnesses...and my neighbors on three sides have babies, and probably plenty of advice. What, the telephone doesn't work anymore??

Compare

Sylvia at two days, in her first herbal bath with me. followed by Sylvia at 6 weeks.

Better

Better, by small steps. Dan is up and about more, and actually ventured out of the house to attempt to pick up the milk from our herdshare and deliver some food to our friends Steph and Jess who just had their son Soleil...but the ice under the snow on the roads forced him to turn back.

I took a short nap this morning. Sometimes when I try my body or my mind won't let me sleep so easily during the day. I've tried medidating and I get distracted. I wonder if I should try whiskey? Skullcap? Hops?

In this pic Sylvia is wearing a hot onesie designed and screened by our buddy Dan from Portland. Maybe someday he'll give her wakeboarding lessons. Rad. Is that what the kids say these days, "rad?"

Okay, Maybe More Sick

Turns out Grandpa, Uncle and Grandma all have colds. I'm getting a glimpse into what it's like to do this alone, although Grandma still brought by groceries and food tonight. Not really that hard up after all.

Still hoping for a Wonderful Wednesday tomorrow!

Less Sick and Tired

Grandpa Dickie brought groceries and food and sat with Sylvia for a while yesterday too.

Grandma Miriam brought more food and held Sylvia; they had a very stimulating conversation, even if it was a bit one-sided.

Today more groceries and food from Grandma. Dan has been sleeping in the basement bedroom, eating crackers and drinking ginger ale. I've been doing the baby thing, napping a little and feeling more human. Hopefully tomorrow will feel even better.

Sick and Tired

Three nights ago I was losing it because of exhaustion. I couldn't form sentences in my head, much less through my mouth, and I felt like I would never catch up on my sleep. Ever.

Dan did a great job of baby duty so I could sleep...at least try. Sylvia decided it would be fun to stay awake in the middle of the night, and so I was awake too.

Two nights ago Dan woke up with gastrointestinal armageddon; I was not only awake with Sylvia for her usual feedings & rocking to sleep, but I also did Dan's diaper duty and was awake helping Dan deal with his own malaise for a few hours.

Tonight I'm running on fumes, but feeling more sane after Uncle Josh came over and minded the baby for a few hours so Dan could sleep and I could attempt to sleep - despite earplugs and the radio set to static (in an effort to keep me from hearing Sylvia - if she's anywhere in earshot and even slightly fussy, I'm awake...the magic of survival instincts at work) I could not sleep. Lying down for a couple of hours helped though.

Now she's slumbering at 11pm, Dan is feeling slightly better and is in bed, and I'm on my way to brush my teeth and put on my jammies - hopefully I'll board the Nighttime Train to Sleepville.

Arms Out

This must be one relaxed baby!

Great

Sylvia has two great-grandmothers: Rose and Mildred
three great-aunts: Susan M., Susan H. and Reina
and four great-great aunts: Etta, Ann, Betty, and Irene

Here she is with great-aunt Reina, who is younger than her parents!

Grandpa

He does a lot of the first...but more of the second!

Wow