Sometimes Sylvia fusses when she's really tired, like she's not sure what to do and has a little struggle letting go and going to sleep.
Being sick this week has encouraged me to let go of a lot of the worry and obsessing over what we're "doing to our child" as we parent.
Having Dan and Grandma step in as primary caregivers allowed me not only to rest, but to step back and slow down, to see childrearing as a much longer-term project than the particular activity of the moment. Although it was hard to be trapped downstairs, sick on the couch, listening to Sylvia fuss upstairs (in the hands of a qualified adult), it did give me some perspective.
It's okay to lay her down in her crib (alone! egads!) if she's crying and I have to use the bathroom. It's okay to let her sit in a wet diaper (heaven forfend!) for a couple of minutes while I finish cooking breakfast. It's okay that I haven't figured out what this particular cry means right now and we sit together for a while to see if it blows over. Sylvia's happy, healthy and thriving. We're doing the right things. We're doing fine.
4 comments:
J went back to work this week and I've been alone with Soleil for the longest stretches of time yet. Exciting, but also totally scary. But, I did manage to finish getting myself dinner while he cried . . . two days ago I would have let myself starve. You're doing great, friend.
indeed, you are doing great.
btw stephanie, congratulations!!!!
i remember one time being in a grocery store with tashi when she started crying. i had nursed her before we went in, her diaper was dry. i just had to grab a few things and get out of there. all i could do was talk to her and carry on while her crying turned to hysteria. i was determined not to leave without the groceries. i got so many dirty looks!!!!! but i came home with the things i needed, and a baby who had finally settled down.
i have heard that in other cultures, asia perhaps, people aren't so freaked out or bothered by a crying baby.
letting the baby cry itself to sleep is something i don't agree with, but at other times, when the babies needs have been met, and it's just having the issue-of-the-moment, you have to remember to take care of yourself too, and carry on.
Taking care of one's self too - I find myself fighting biology on that one. Seems much easier to let myself stink of body odor from not bathing, nevermind how I look, and to tromp around in Monday's clothes on Wednesday than to just take the extra 20 minutes, set Syl in the crib with the mobile on (which the Searses call a "mechanical mother" - way to lay on the guilt) and do what I need to do.
you take a little of this and a little of that. i nursed on demand but i also used a baby swing when i was cooking in the kitchen. my brother-in-law called the swing a neglect-o-matic. but i couldn't wear tashi while cooking. she was a 9.5 baby born by c-section. my lower back couldn't take it. also, i was always afraid of dropping things on her while cooking. so you can practice "attachment parenting" but you can also make use of some the tools at hand for a compromise at times. a happy parent makes a happy baby.
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