She's Finally Here!

Sylvia Ann Meisler came to the outside world on Friday 12/21 at 4:46am. She weighed 7 pounds 10 ounces and was 19 1/2 inches long.

Now it's Monday 12/24 and we're back at home. falling more in love and getting adjusted.

Birth stories and tales of home life to follow!

Thanks to eveyone who offered love, support and cheerleading.

Induction

Unless something happens between now and this evening, I'll be checking into the hospital around 7 or 8 to have labor induced.

The baby has dropped dramatically in the last two days; perhaps she's even more ready to get the show on the road?

My midwife says inductions can take up to four days, or can move things along in a day even. We'll see how cooperative this girl wants to be.

Wish me luck and smooth sailing; I'll report when we're back home - all three of us!

Stillness

There is a foot of snow on the ground after last night's and this morning's storms swept through. All the neighborhood kids are thrilled!

After days of trying walking and various other methods to encourage labor, today's approach has been to not think about it or act to bring it on. My doula says my lack of labor is not due to my lack of trying, and she agrees with me that this baby has her own agenda.

Still, it's hard not to feel a little defeated, although that emotion is overshadowed by my excitement. I'm trying to be calm about the possibility of induction, to not think about the cascade of interventions that could possibly be the path ahead. All the positive stories about surgical birth, and all the encouraging words in the world (especially from people I love) do nothing to dissuade my commitment to the plans for an intervention-free birth...but a plan is just that: a plan.

I have very minimal control here. My daughter will come in the way she sees fit.

No Pins, But Needles

Went in for acupuncture Thursday to try and induce labor. It's now been 47 hours, and the acupuncturist said if anything was going to happen it would in 48.

She also said at the very least it would make the induction go more easily.

We'll see if anything happens between now and Tuesday night.

On a Schedule

My obstetrician backed off not wanting me to go past the 11th, and instead has scheduled an induction for Tuesday 12/18 if I haven't gone into labor on my own by then.

Most likely they would start with prostaglandin gel, which may or may not trigger labor. If not, the next step would be to administer the synthetic hormone pitocin, which may or may not move things along. If not, it is unclear whether more pitocin would be called for, or if breaking the amniotic sac would come next. Docs don't like moms to go too long with a ruptured sac (and the accompanying risk of infection), so more extreme measures like surgery could be called for.

I am not excited at the prospect of being induced. All I really want is to be left alone, and to let this baby decide when she's ready to come out and trigger labor. But being gestationally diabetic earns me "special" treatment. The docs want to take these interventional steps to prevent the tiny percentage of catastrophe (stillbirth) that is associated with pregnancy and diabetes when moms go past term.

I appreciate that they have my best interests, and that of the baby, in mind, but they're not the ones facing the possibility of a pitocin-induced, sped-up, more intensely painful labor that is not supported by the release of hormones and endorphins that accompany normal labor.

Walking...or Waddling

In an effort to move things along, I've been walking for about an hour a couple of times a day. There is snow, and there has been ice, on the sidewalks outside, so I've been trying to think of all the indoor spaces conducive to walking.

So far I've taken my parents to Lowe's, the botanical gardens conservatory, Home Depot and the Meijer's on Jackson Road. We plan to shake it up tomorrow by hitting the Meijer's on Carpenter Road. Call it comparison walking.

Or waddling. The baby's head is so low down, and I'm finding it harder to keep a pace faster than a glorified shuffle. Plus transitioning from sitting to standing is a bit uncomfortable. Once I'm up and stand for a minute it's all good, but those ligaments down low are not happy at first!

Opening

As of Tuesday I am one centimeter dilated, and the baby has her head very far down. My doula senses that my body is ready, and now it's just up to the baby to decide to make that huge transition into a full human being. Perhaps she's pondering it all, a tiny philosopher?
I'm walking, dancing, sending her messages that it's mostly great on the outside.
I hope she comes soon!

Cold

When I woke up this morning it was 12 degrees outside. Cold.

And I also have a cold, which I've been nursing for four days now. Apparently, it's not uncommon for women to get a cold at the end of their pregnancy; perhaps nature's way of ensuring that we'll actually sit down, lie down, rest and physically prepare for the labor ahead.

Also a great excuse to eat my mother-in-law's chicken soup, which has magical medicinal qualities...not that I need an excuse to eat it.

My parents are here, braving the Michigan cold to ancitipate this baby's arrival. They reside in Florida, where my dad has informed me (no fewer than three times in the last 12 hours) that the temperature when the left was 80 degrees. So it's cold here for them.

Off to the Shadow Art Fair in Ypsilanti today to do some holiday shopping and supporting of local craftspeople!

Blessingway

Two weekends ago my dear friends threw me a blessingway. What a lovely afternoon! I was pampered, encouraged, treated to delicious food, a facial with homemade products, a footbath and massage...I didn't want to leave!

We also did a cast of my belly so I can look back and remember just how large I am now. And show my daughter how small she used to be!

For me the blessingway is a bridge I've crossed. I feel so much more prepared to labor for and deliver this baby. I've got some strong, intelligent, beautiful, caring women backing me up, and I'm ready!

Forecast

Here's what the weather forecast looks like for today:
A slight chance of light rain through 10 am...then rain likely during the morning...then rain through 4 pm...then rain and snow.
Verbatim, from the NOAA site.

I finished work last week, and boy, am I glad. This baby has moved farther down, making it harder to walk, sit, stand...basically do anything comfortably aside from lie on my side. A good sign, I know, but jeez, a bit much! Can't wait until her head is in my pelvis...that should feel great!

The baby forecast, according to my "due date" (which we should really come up with another name for, like "estimated date of arrival" or "maybe date"), is December 18...my obstetrician doesn't want me to go beyond December 11 (due to a slightly increased risk of fetal mortality in gestational diabetic moms that go to term), which my midwife thinks may be a little to overly cautious...my doula thinks closer to December 7, which would be fine with me. I don't really have a strong sense, other than that this baby is on her way, and I doubt she'll wait past the 11th.

It's her call, and we'll just have to see!

Thankfully my parents will be here toward the end of this week, so I'll have more support (and pampering) for a few days before labor begins.

Thankful

For this past Wednesday being my last day at work for six months.
For this heavy, medicine-ball-in-the-lower-abdomen feeling being temporary.
For having loving, capable friends to surround me in the delivery room.
For having loving, capable friends to surround me after we get home.
For a husband/partner/best friend/soulmate to cheer me up, cheer me on, keep me laughing, cook and clean, and offer so many strengths not only to me, but to our child on the way.
For family, so eager with anticipation, ready to pitch in and help in between rounds of holding and staring in awe at a baby.
For Kegel exercises, birth balls, Boppy pillows, slings, car seats, tiny socks, diaper services, books, helpful Web sites, and stuffed animals.
For getting the opportunity to do this, the most common and the most miraculous of undertakings.

An Orange Present

My coworker, friend, and all around neat person Cheri Reiman gave me the cutest baby gift - a hand-dyed onesie:


Here's Cheri at her stall at the Ann Arbor Artisan Market:

Cute stuff, eh?
The Artisan Market is full of lovely treasures, hand-made by local artisans. Visit the Web site: artisanmarket.org



Get in touch with Cheri at cheririeman@hotmail.com; her "support local" shirts are especially cool!

Thanks, Cheri!

Special!

I found out really good news - my midwife can attend my birth!

After all that worry and stress, and then letting go of the idea of having a midwife present, things have finally aligned the way I wanted them to begin with.

I say "special" because when I saw her over at the hospital, she came up to me and said, "Good news - I can special for you!"

To which I replied, "Sounds great, but I have no idea what that means!"

We had a good laugh.

Needless to say I'm much more relaxed, and less apprehensive about labor and birth.

Thank goodness I live in Ann Arbor and not some other place with less progressive views on co-managed care.

Yay!

Falling Back

Daylight savings time ends soon...time to fall back.
Remember trust falls from camp?
Surrendering to the process of letting go, both now with my health care and thinking ahead to labor!
I expected to go into the OB clinic and find some antiquated, intervention-happy OB with forceps sticking out of his back pocket. Boy, was I surprised to see a friendly young smiling fellow that I know through my local herd share (where we get fresh milk)!
Many fears evaporated.
The doc has already had a conversation with my midwife about how she can be involved at the birth. I've been attending twice weekly fetal monitoring sessions (which consist mostly of my relaxing and listening to the rhythmic pulsing of my daughter's heart) along with weekly ultrasounds, which are pretty fun to see. All part of being on oral insulin.
So glad to not have to manage injectible insulin and sharps!
And my stress level has come down considerably now that I've crossed the once-looming threshhold into "life without a midwife" which may not be completely without a midwife after all.
Falling back into feeling things are all okay, and feeling my excitement (and my belly) grow every day!

Modern Health Care

I've been busting my butt managing my gestational diabetic diet and exercise regimen, only to find that I'm having sugar readings above the University of Michigan cutoff for what's acceptable. Which is around ten points lower than the Merck cutoff for GD.

Last week my diabetic counselor offered to relieve my stress by putting me on insulin. Less meal planning, more flexibility with what and when to eat. Sounds great, no?

The little detail that was not mentioned (and I don't fully blame the diabetic health care folks for not mentioning this) is that if I am on insulin my primary care provider would no longer be a midwife but a regular obstetritian.

I almost typed "a mere obstetrician." Such are my strong feelings about being cared for by a midwife. I can't tell you how important it is for me to be in the care of a woman who understands that birth is a normal event, not a medical condition to be managed.

I do believe there are plenty of wonderful OB's out there. I worked with one last year during my miscarriage. Hopefully he can consult with me soon about these slightly elevated sugar levels and what actually constitutes risk to the baby and to me.

Another interesting fact about GD and insulin use: I would not be able to deliver in the birthing center's standard rooms, but would be put on a wing with the other "high-risk" births. No birthing tubs, smaller rooms (although pretty darn nice).

Oh - lest I forget to mention that my health care provider may decide to induce labor around 39-40 weeks, and would certainly be interested in not allowing me to go beyond my due date. Due dates are an estimated figure, so I've heard. Any OB worth their salt would be interested in fetal measurement and my weight gain rather than an arbitrary date.

All of these possible interventions. Certainly not part of my birth plan.

I'm in the information gathering stage right now, having gone through the freaking out stage and then the crying stage for a couple of hours last week.

I am thankful to be so carefully monitored and managed, all said. But sometimes I wonder about the medicalization of childbirth and its connection to legal liability and the needs of insurance companies. Altogether it's a learning process, and part of what I'm learning is to think about this in the way my wonderful midwife framed it:

"I also find it helpful to remember that this is the baby's birth and this little wise one is creating these circumstances for her own particular learning. We all can do our best to shape the experiences- but she's calling the shots!"

(Already this kid's running my life...ha!)

Weighing Things

Not literally things, although I do get weighed once a month at my midwife visits. I now weigh 163, by the way (get it? way? weigh? pregnancy brain?), which is the most I've ever weighed in my life.

Lately I've been weighing things like, is it worth it to continue to stand on my aching feet with my aching back and wash a sink full of dishes tonight so I won't be rushed in the morning? Is it a worthwhile endeavor to straighten the ever accumulating mess on the dining room table, or should I just go put my feet up and read? What serves me better: doing another load of laundry or taking a nap?

I don't see how single people get through the third trimester without support. Just working part-time, shopping for food, cooking (when I actually do it instead of relying on Dan) and cleaning up seems like enough, and I also take a pregnancy yoga class, a belly dance class, and we're taking pregnancy and childbirth classes on Wednesdays now too.

I've long believed it takes more than two people to raise a child, and now I belive it takes a village to maintain a healthy, happy pregnancy!

Thank goodness for Dan, my in-laws, my parents, my friends, my doula/massage therapist/holistic health care diva, and my midwife!

The Floor is How Far Down?

I've been dropping things lately. Not valuable glass vases or antique teacups, mind you, but just about everything else - papers, my belly belt, the soap in the shower, food...and the floor seems to be farther away than it used to be.

Most of the time I don't mind bending over or squatting to pick things up, but after the day's seventh clumsy drop, it gets old. My muscles and ligaments don't seem to want me to bend over! Dan has been super helpful and will pick things up for me, or put a heavy pot away in its bottom shelf spot, and I've been practicing picking things up with my toes and lifting my leg high enough to grab the offending article from my foot.

I'm reframing how I think about gravity - perhaps I need to do a few more forward bends and squats? They do strengthen my muscles and increase my consciousness of breathing and movement. Maybe gravity is my friend after all.

The Shuggah Dieuhbeetus

(That's how you'd say it if you were from the Ninth Ward in New Orleans.)

Yes, I have a case of the sugar diabetes, the gestational type. I responded with two "abnormal" sugar levels during a three-hour glucose tolerance test last week - "abnormal" is a nicer way to say I didn't pass.

The good news is gestational diabetes disappears as soon as the placenta is delivered in 97-98% of moms.

Today I attended diabetic counseling at the University of Michigan hospital, and from now until I deliver I am on a carb-counting, protein-including, finger-pricking schedule of fun. It's not so bad, really. I just have to be very mindful of what I eat, what type of food group it belongs to, and when I eat it.

All of this to ensure my health, the baby's health, and to make sure I don't grow a huge baby that would be hard to deliver.

I got to take home my very own Accu-Check Aviva blood sugar monitor that has digital memory, along with this cool finger pricker that loads six sharps at a time and doesn't even hurt my tender little fingertips. And I got a free lunch tote in the deal. At least there's a sunny side!

Where Are My...

FEET???




There they are! With a little cantilevering I can see them.

I've never disliked my feet, nor have I ever thought they were fabulous. Lately I've been paying attention to the veins on the inside of my feet, rubbing in rosemary cream and doing inverted yoga positions to minimize them.




My feet grow tired more quickly these days. I've been told I have small feet for my stature, and with the extra weight on them it's no wonder they grow weary!

Second Time Around

This is my second pregnancy. I miscarried last February at almost 20 weeks along, which (needless to say) was a huge disappointment. Especially after sailing through the first trimester, the time during which most miscarriages occur.

It's funny - I heard hardly anything about miscarriage until I had one. Then all of these women came out of the woodwork with their stories, and it's not so uncommon as the silence around it leads one to believe.

It turns out that having an amniocentesis caused the loss. I was doubly unlucky - most amnios do not result in a punctured amniotic sac, and most of those that do heal themselves. After being confined to three weeks of bedrest it was clear on ultrasound that there was simply not enough amniotic fluid being retained in the sac, and the pregnancy was not viable. Amniotic fluid serves many functions, among them providing a pressurized environment ensuring proper fetal lung development. Every day I went without a viable fetus increased the odds of my developing an infection, which could have led to a host of problems. A day after Dan and I made the decision to terminate the pregnancy I miscarried.

All in all the miscarriage experience wasn't so terrible. I was handled with competent care and sympathy by the staff at the UofM birthing center. The ordeal started around 3am and I was back at home by 11am. The miscarriage did give me some insight into childbirth, but my doula told me that successful childbirth shouldn't hurt nearly as bad.

It's been hard to not think about this experience with my second pregnancy. My body has been telling me from the start that everything is fine, but my mind sometimes wanders back and introduces doubts. It's easy to play out imagined dramas in my head - what if this or that goes wrong? What if I go into pre-term labor? What if???? I try to stay centered and keep my mind in balance with the wisdom of my physical being.

And, deep inside, I feel like this time around we will have success!

On Puking

What biological function, may I ask, does yakking up a perfectly good breakfast serve?

You should have seen the breakfast I cooked - whole wheat pancakes with cinnamon and local blueberries, local maple syrup, butter, scrambled eggs from my friend Kevin's hens, orange juice...it looked and smelled and tasted so good!

My stomach enjoyed it for about 20 minutes, and then I accidentally swallowed wrong - you know, when you have a little extra saliva, and it goes down the windpipe. I had to cough, and I told my stomach to not get involved, but since I've been pregnant my gag reflex is sensitive to strange things like coughing. I even puked one time after a vigorous sneeze.

I felt cheated, after making and enjoying such a great breakfast! I just don't see how losing my breakfast improved any situation.

And it's not like I have morning sickness, which usually plagues women in the first trimester. Now I'm almost 23 weeks along and well beyond my "morning" sickness experience. I say "morning" because what I had was all-day-and-into-the-night sickness for about five weeks. Unless I was actively shoving food into my mouth, my stomach was very unhappy. And, believe it or not, I can't eat all day long!

Thankfully that's over now. I'll try to be more careful when swallowing, sneezing, coughing and brushing my teeth - especially after blueberry pancakes!

Me & My Man

Dan loves having his picture taken, as you can tell.

On our fifth wedding anniversary this year, my parents gave us a card that read:
"He looked at her,
She looked at him,
And everyone who saw that look threw up a little."

True love from the start, or at least from very early on! I couldn't ask for a more steady and supportive partner. This man has an incredible depth of patience. He knows how to laugh, and makes me laugh often. He's like an oak tree, beautiful, solid and strong. And he's going to be a great dad!

If you know Dan you know what I'm talking about.

I'm often amazed that someone so big and strong can also be so dang cute!

(I think Dan's a little nervous about being one of my blog subjects, but I've promised to be reasonable.)

Welcome!

The heat of August is upon us...tomatoes are plump on the vine, cicadas sing in rising and falling buzz, and I'm over halfway through my pregnancy.

My husband Dan and I are expecting a girl in mid-December. She will be the first grandchild in both our families, and is much anticipated!

This blog is a window into many journeys: first, mine as a pregnant woman. If all goes well, then me as a first-time mom, Dan and mine as transitioning from couplehood into family life, and my daughter's from birth through many adventures.

I am eagerly anticipating the paths ahead; thanks for joining me!